You’ve been lied to and led to believe that stress is bad. But what if I told you that stress can actually be your secret weapon?

Because here’s the truth: You’re supposed to be stressed. It’s very natural, and if you’re not under some sort of pressure, then it’s a sign of stagnation.

If you want to grow and level up, you have to step into unknown territory and solve new problems. And if you don’t have new problems to solve and obstacles to overcome, then it’s safe to say that your life is being lived on repeat.

Whether it’s learning a new skill, entering a new relationship, starting a new job, or going to the gym for the first time, anything that is new will involve a season of difficulty that you will have to navigate through.

The reason that it is difficult is because you have no experience with it yet: that version of you does not yet exist. So, you have to become that person. You do this by overcoming every obstacle that stands in your way of what you want to achieve.‍

‍During this time of personal evolution, you’re absolutely going to have to deal with a certain amount of difficulty. This is the natural way of things. If you take a step back, you will see that our entire existence is based around survival and survival is not meant to be easy.

The only way that any form of life can continue to thrive is through improvement, because their environment is always changing, and if the organism doesn’t improve then it will eventually cease to exist.

Mankind has done a great job at making survival easier but look at where it has gotten us. Most of society is severely overweight, depressed, and directionless. Why do you think that is? Because “we” have made it a point to avoid stress at all costs.

Many people have gotten so obsessed with this bullshit idea that stress should be avoided that they have based their entire life around it. They go out of their way to never experience any sort of discomfort. As soon as they do start to feel just a little bit uneasy, they immediately try to distract themselves with drugs, alcohol, and mind-numbing entertainment to “feel better”.

Because of this lifestyle, they are beyond soft and get completely derailed as soon as they are met with any sort of difficulty.

They are not prepared for periods of hardship because they have lived their lives expecting everything to be handed to them with minimum effort on their part — but that’s not how the world works.

The fact that we have become so detached from nature that people actually believe this is a realistic way to live is honestly terrifying to me.

There is nothing on this planet that does not have to fight for self-preservation. And if you are fighting, then guess what? You are under a certain amount of stress.

And every day you should be fighting to become the best version of yourself — because it will increase your quality of life and the lives of those around you.

All of this is beautiful though because it makes you have appreciation.

I want you to think about it for a second… The things that you obtain without having to put in any real effort are easily taken for granted. But the things that you have to work for and really put in the effort to get are what you cherish the most.‍

‍Whether it’s building muscle, getting stronger, losing weight, making money, finding a partner, learning something new, or even climbing a mountain, the more effort that it takes to get to your destination or goal (because they are the same thing), the sweeter the reward will be.

But here’s a valuable lesson that I wish I would have known earlier: The goal itself is not the most important part and you don’t really feel any different once you accomplish it.

I spent all of my twenties on a warpath, going after every goal that I thought would bring me some sense of fulfillment and happiness.

In the time frame of ten years, I toured in a band, backpacked Europe, started a clothing company, had a kid, bought two houses, opened a gym, deadlifted 600 pounds, and the list goes on. But outside of having a kid, none of those things made me feel any less empty.

I would conquer one goal and immediately move on to the next, hoping that the next thing would finally do the trick. But guess what? It didn’t.

What I finally realized was that the journey toward the goal and the person that you become along the way is what gives you a real sense of fulfillment because you have to improve as an individual to accomplish any goal, which, once again, is impossible without adding tension and stress to your life.‍

‍So, unless your plan is to remain the exact same person and live a mediocre existence completely absent of improvement, then you’re going to have times of stress. It’s inevitable. But I promise you this is good, and it’s worth dealing with the periods of discomfort.

Now, there are two ways to go about this.‍

Two Ways to Grow Through Stress

First Way: You can be a lunatic who has zero control of himself and is constantly spiraling downwards from all the pressure…

Second Way: OR you can remain calm, confident, and in control during times of war to come out victorious.

From my experience, the second option is a better route to take if possible.

Like I said, I spent all of my twenties going after a bunch of different goals. What I left out though, is that I was an absolute wreck because I didn’t go about it properly.

I had complete mental breakdowns every 3 months that would stop my progress forward. Part of this was because I almost always set overly ambitious goals and I wasn’t anywhere near the level yet to achieve them, but putting myself under pressure forced me to bridge that gap between who I was and who I wanted to become.

At the end of the day, that’s the whole purpose of setting goals. You have a vision of who you want to become and achieving the goal is what will get you there.

But the main reason that I was never able to remain stable is because I went about it in a reckless way instead of a strategic one, which made accomplishing these goals more difficult.

Now, I still haven’t mastered remaining calm and in control, and I definitely still have moments where I just lose my shit, but I think this is something that grows stronger with time and experience.

The way I like to view it is: You can either be the Berserker or the Commander.

Sure, being the Berserker sounds cool, but they were known for losing complete control and destroying everything in their path. Whereas the Commander keeps his composure and develops the best plan of attack to achieve success, which you can’t do if you are in an absolute frenzy.

Now I’m not saying that one is better than the other, because they both serve a purpose and I’m honestly not sure if you can develop the traits of a Commander without first being a Berserker.

It’s good to know that you have the capability of tapping into powerful, almost destructive energy, and then learning how to harness it. These emotions are primal, and you can definitely use them to your advantage. This is something that I have been able to improve the more I dive into combat sports, and it has transferred over into every aspect of my life.

When I started training Muay Thai, I quickly understood that if I gave into rage while sparring that it was a disadvantage, which is hard to do when someone is trying to kick you in the head. But if I remained calm and in control, I could execute with more precision.

The same applies to jiu-jitsu. When the opponent has you in a tight spot, the last thing you want to do is freak out. Instead, you need to breathe, calm the mind, and wait until you see an opening to regain the upper hand. You pretty much have to get comfortable in hell… and this doesn’t just apply to training.‍

‍It’s frightening to the enemy and reassuring to everyone else — including yourself.

But there are certain actions that you can take on a daily basis that will make achieving your objectives and managing stress easier.‍

Daily Practices to Manage Stress

Schedule Downtime‍

The first one is to schedule downtime. Just like in times of war, the battle is not being fought at all hours, 365 days a year.

Up until recently, military campaigns were broken up into seasons because fighting during winter was a disadvantage to both sides. And still today, they will rotate troops to combat fatigue because they know that it’s crucial for operational effectiveness.

Even in the gym, you’re not going to see an increase in muscle size unless you allow that muscle to recover after breaking it down.

So, there is nothing wrong with downtime to recharge the spirit and move out of fight or flight. As a matter of fact, it’s the very best thing you can do for the mission. It allows you to regain your composure and think of the very best strategy moving forward.

Stress triggers the release of cortisol, which is a hormone that impairs cognitive function. When you’re not under pressure, the brain can make connections between unrelated ideas, which helps you think outside of the box. This is crucial for problem solving, because the solution is rarely found without first getting a wider view of the situation.

Stress also clouds your judgment and leads to impulsive decisions, whereas a more relaxed state allows you to consider your options and potential consequences.

So, having downtime is absolutely essential no matter what goal you are pursuing.

I like to split these moments up between morning and night, but mostly the evening.

‍Meditation

In the morning, I will meditate for at least twenty minutes to prepare my mind for the day's oncoming assault. This sets the tone to remain calm even when I am in the thick of it all.

I visualize how I want to show up in the world, the person I want to become, and what I want to achieve as if it were already a reality. This is what allows me to navigate the external world at my best.

Meditation also forces you to learn how to control the mind and body when it’s anxious.

Most people give up on meditation for multiple reasons, but the main one is that they can’t handle the uncomfortable feelings that come up from just sitting there, especially if they have a lot on their plate. 

But when you force yourself to sit in silence and without action, you essentially put yourself in control of the mind instead of letting it control you. Your ability to remain in control builds like a muscle over time and you are then able to carry it into your day.‍

Journaling

But if meditation isn’t your thing, you can always journal as soon as you wake up.

I’m not talking about writing a book or memoir, just sit down with pen and paper and start writing whatever comes to mind. This helps get everything out of your head and relieves the tension that has been building up.‍

Breath Work

Taking time to meditate during the day probably isn’t an option, which is where breath work can become a solid tool for your arsenal.

This is extremely effective and underrated, but it works because deep breathing and increased oxygen can activate the parasympathetic nervous system, which promotes relaxation and counteracts the "fight or flight" response.

You can do this by taking a moment to breathe in slowly through your nose and allow your stomach to rise as you fill your lungs with air. Then hold your breath for a count of 3-4 seconds. After that, exhale slowly through your mouth and let your stomach fall. The exhale should be smooth and controlled, not rushed.

Keep doing this for a few minutes and just focus on your breath. You can do it sitting, standing, walking, whatever.

Getting in more oxygen is beneficial but focusing on your breath also quiets the mind from all the bullshit you’ve dealing with.

The mind can only focus on one thing at a time and directing your attention to the breath will stop you from ruminating about the past or anxiously predicting the future.

When I realized this, it was an absolute game-changer because prior to a few years ago my mind never shut the hell up. It was always going on and on about negative things that have already happened or obsessively planning for what’s to come, which will drive you insane.

But when I realized that I could just focus on my breath to catch some relief, everything changed. Instead of spiraling downwards, I was able to ground myself in the present.

What you’ll realize is that 99% of the time, in this exact moment you’re actually solid. It’s the obsessive thinking about the past or future that is making your life hell.

So that’s what I would recommend doing in the morning and throughout the day for strategic downtime to recompose.‍

Walking Outside

At night, there’s a lot you can do, but the very best thing I have found is going on a walk outside with no phone, music, or distractions.

Walking relieves stress and helps clear your mind due to a combination of physical, psychological, and biochemical effects.

It triggers the release of endorphins which puts you in a better mood while also increasing blood flow, which improves cognitive function and gives you clarity of thought.

Plus, the change of scenery from being outside (and not inside a square room) will help reset your mind and give you a fresh perspective on whatever problems you’re facing. 

Nietzsche actually has a quote about this which is: “All truly great thoughts are conceived while walking.” It’s true. Almost every solution or idea I have had came to me while walking. But, if you’re not going to listen to me, then at least listen to Nietzche.

On top of that, walking helps release muscle tension that builds up in response to stress. As your muscles relax, so does your mind.

Remove Stimulation

The main thing you want to focus on in the evening is removing stimulation and actually allowing yourself to decompress. My general rule is to cut everything out ninety minutes before bed.

Our bodies operate in cycles that are roughly ninety minutes long, known as ultradian rhythms. These rhythms are part of our biological processes and occur multiple times throughout the day.

Probably the most well-known ultradian rhythm is your sleep cycle, which is the various stages of sleep that you go through every night. But it’s not just with our sleep cycles. Ultradian rhythms also affect other bodily functions like hormone secretion, heart rate, and brain performance.

For example, throughout the day, our alertness and cognitive ability goes up and down in these 90-minute cycles, which is why taking breaks during work or study sessions can be beneficial for maintaining productivity and focus.

So, by implementing mandatory downtime every evening, you can start to program your mind and body to automatically begin decompressing ninety minutes before your head hits the pillow. To do this, you need to eliminate external lights, put down the phone, turn off the TV, and remove anything that is stopping you from winding down.

I know some of you might say that TV before bed does help you decompress, but that blue light is not working in your favor and these shows are designed to keep you engaged and hooked.

‍‍Like everything, the solution is usually found by looking at how our ancestors lived, because it’s the natural way of things. There was really not shit they could do when it got dark outside besides sit around a fire or sleep.

Since very few of us are able to sit around a fire every night, under the stars, you need to try and mimic this setting as much as possible. That’s why even one night of camping can seem like a complete reset, which is also something I would recommend doing as much as possible.‍

Physical Training

Outside of devoting time to ground yourself in the morning and at night, the very best thing you can do to reduce stress and just ignite that internal fire to keep moving forward is train, which is a non-negotiable.

Whether it’s lifting weights, martial arts, running, hiking, whatever, you need to be pushing yourself physically and mentally in some sort of way.

We already know that physical activity releases endorphins and reduces cortisol, but the benefits go far beyond that. It’s going to improve sleep, regulate the autonomic nervous system, increase cognitive function, and help regulate your mood. But most importantly, it’s building physical and mental resilience which you need if you want to dominate life.

There’s actually a concept for this known as stress inoculation, which claims that exposing yourself to manageable levels of stress can strengthen your ability to cope with it more efficiently in the long term.

Beyond all that though, working out is pretty much a form of mindfulness if done correctly. 

Cutting out distractions and getting tunnel vision on your workout anchors you in the present. Just like focusing on your breath, it stops you from replaying the past or anxiously predicting the future — it gives you a break from all the bullshit.

But what I love the most about training is the sense of accomplishment that you have from stacking victories. This fires you up and gives you the confidence to go back on the attack, and you are raising your stress tolerance when you push yourself.

You see, the secret to dealing with stress isn’t to avoid it— it’s to embrace it and learn how to manage it properly.

You don’t want to be that person who is fragile and completely derailed over the smallest things, which will happen if you go out of your way to avoid difficulty. Instead, you need to be the champion who welcomes challenges because you know that it’s needed to grow and reach your highest potential.

The Vikings didn’t just accept their fate and stay in Scandinavia. Alexander the Great didn’t stop his assault on Persia when he took back the land that once belonged to Macedonia. And the Romans didn’t settle for their small piece of territory in Southern Europe.

All three of these examples, and countless others, showcase individuals who sought out hardship in order to grow. And just like them, you need to write your own saga and make it as glorious as possible. But that will never happen if you make the focus of your life avoiding stress.

Instead, learn to navigate stress like a commander, increase your tolerance, then keep moving forward.