Who you are today is not who you have to be tomorrow.

But this isn’t the case for most of society... The majority of the population develop an idea of who they are in their 20’s. They map out what the remainder of their life will look like, and try their absolute damndest to never deviate from this path.

They create a mental construct of who they are, what job they will work, where they will live, and pretty much solidify every other aspect of their entire existence. Then they spend the rest of their days going through the motions to fulfill this self-created prophecy. And because of this, they limit their potential.

In their heads, they are staying the course. But in reality, they are remaining stuck in the same place — they are not advancing forward.

For most of the world, this results in a life of complacency and discontentment. They are terrified to adventure into the unknown to see what can be found.

They aren’t happy, but they refuse to look at WHY they are feeling this way. Because if they were to investigate — they would have to question the original narrative that they created for themselves.

They would have to look in the mirror and potentially deviate from the original plan. This might even mean creating a new identity for themselves, and this would involve getting out of their comfort zone.

So, they decide to remain the same and fill every second of the day with distractions. All in an attempt to not face themselves and potentially make a change.

This way of living is the complete opposite of what nature intended for us.

This comes from a complete detachment from the natural world and a life of leisure and comfort. We only have to do the bare minimum in order to survive — so that’s exactly what we do. 

We can invest a minimum amount of effort to secure a job that gives us a decent wage and spend the rest of the time doing mindless tasks like scrolling on social media and watching Netflix.

These activities give you a cheap dopamine hit, creating the illusion that you are happy. But eventually that goes away and no longer scratches the itch.

And then what happens is that most people go to drugs and alcohol to numb the mind, all in a quiet desperation to not have to face themselves and their lives. Then, they wake up the next day to repeat the cycle.

If this is how you want to live your life, that is your choice. But there is a better path that you can walk: A never-ending journey of unlimited triumphs.

Now, it’s not going to be easy, but life wasn’t meant to be easy. Everything on this planet is in a constant fight for survival.‍

‍The cost of this “easy life” is true happiness and your potential for greatness. The only way that you can grow as an individual is to step out of your comfort zone.

You must add tension to your life in order to strengthen the mind, body, and spirit. Otherwise, your mind and body will deteriorate with time, and you will become detached from your true essence, which impacts your view of self and the world around you.

Most people are unaware of how bad off they are because this deterioration is a slow process, and it doesn’t just happen overnight. Instead, it’s a slow progression downward that you don’t see until you’re hit with a wakeup call. But at that point it’s usually too late.

Your ego and perception of who you are is concrete, and it will take a strong will to break it apart.

You’re also fighting against a lifetime of negative habits that have shaped your identity, and replacing these negative habits with positive ones is not easy after decades of repeating them.

So, most people just accept defeat and use it as a pathetic excuse to not do the work. This is a cowardly approach to life and an insult to yourself, your ancestors, and those that depend on you.

You can absolutely change who you are and what your life will look like moving forward. But in order to do this, you have to begin building some self-respect. This is the starting place for all self-improvement.‍

‍Most people secretly hate who they are, which is why they don’t take the necessary action to change. They continue to self-sabotage because, deep down, they don’t think they deserve anything more.

Luckily, this is something you can combat.‍

Two Major Steps to Cultivating Self-Respect

Step #1: The first step to cultivating self-respect is to gain awareness of your internal dialogue.

Start listening to how you speak to yourself. What do you say to yourself when you make a mistake? Do you beat yourself up over every little thing or do you have some compassion for yourself?

You will probably be disgusted by this internal dialogue when you start paying closer attention to it.

The way that most people talk to themselves is downright hateful. They say things to themselves that they would never say to another person.

I want you to start questioning these statements and switch them to a more positive frame. When you mess up, realize that you are human, and mistakes are inevitable. When you fail, use it as an indicator that you have more work to do.

While you are fixing your self-talk you can also be working toward a meaningful goal. This doesn’t need to be anything massive — you just need to start stacking victories.

These victories will be proof that you are capable of achieving more for yourself, and with each one, you are building confidence — which leads to more self-respect.

The goal you choose is up to you, but from my experience, pursuing a physical goal is the quickest way to build confidence and respect for yourself.

When it comes to fitness, there are generally two different objectives that you can set: You can either build muscle and strength or lose weight.

Everyone wants to do both, but it’s not possible without a bunch of physically enhancing drugs, which I don’t recommend.

In order to lose weight, you have to be in a calorie deficit. And in order to build muscle, you have to be in a calorie surplus — this means eating above your maintenance calories. That’s why bodybuilders go through seasons of bulking and cutting.

If you’re not happy with your body fat percentage, I would focus on that first. Then, when you get to a solid place with that, you can switch gears and start packing on some muscle.

Eventually, you will probably get to a point where you just want to be healthy, but it’s difficult to set a measurable metric with that. And when it comes to any goal, we need to be able to track progress to make sure that we are moving in the right direction.

The reason that setting a physical goal is so powerful for building self-respect is because you are doing something difficult to improve yourself and quality of life. This signals to the subconscious mind that you actually care about yourself, and with time, you will start appreciating yourself more.

With that being said…

Some of the most insecure people I know are athletes.

They have severe body dysmorphia and no matter how big or strong they get, they are still disgusted when they look in the mirror. The reason for this is because the intention behind their goals is not for the right reasons.

They are doing it to compete with other people instead of pursuing their goals because they want the best for themselves.

To avoid this trap, just focus on showing up and doing the work. Don’t get obsessed with the results. Instead, focus more on the process.

Physical fitness is not a race - it’s a lifelong process. Direct your focus towards the present and make sure you are doing what needs to get gone. The results you want will come with time.‍

Step #2: The next aspect we need to tackle is building discipline, which is the highest form of self-respect. 

When you stick to positive habits, you are cultivating more self-discipline.

Discipline is nothing more than taking action on the things that will set future-you up for success. These actions include working out, following a healthy diet, reading, meditating, and stuff like that.

We don’t necessarily see instant results from engaging in these kinds of disciplined activities, but we will be in a better place because of them later down the road.

This is why most people have piss-poor discipline and self-respect, though: They only seek out things that will give them instant gratification. As a result, they live shallow lives and remain the same person day after day.

Because in order to change your identity, you will have to stick to positive habits that become stronger over time.

Habits are the subconscious actions that you do automatically without needing much willpower. But in order for them to become automatic, you will have to go through a season of forcing yourself to do them.

This is where having a vision of who you want to become is crucial. The vision becomes the fuel that will keep you on track until the positive habits take hold. And while you are sticking to these habits, you are building discipline.

This will result in more self-respect and the drive to pursue more for yourself, which is the ultimate goal of life — always climbing higher and discovering new potentials for yourself.

You can do this. The time to start is right now.